wow...just when I thought things would start to get better, the worst hits hard. My grandfather died in his sleep last night. Apparently the stress on his body from the last surgery was too much. We're not entirely sure what happened, but he went to sleep and never woke up. I'm flying out tomorrow to meet my mother for the funeral and will come back late Sunday morning. I loved him so much. I wanted him to be a bigger part of my life than he'd gotten to be in the past.

He'll never get to meet Gavin...if I get married he won't be able to celebrate with me...if I have kids he'll never be able to meet them...

I've been crying all morning. I already miss him so much. I'm trying to distract myself and not succeeding...my cat Charlie had her kittens today. Six adorable babies all snuggled up with momma.